After the Ordeal
by schlobic
Summary: After the SoundWave ordeal, what will happen next? You wanna know, I can tell! (I changed the rating for the language in some of the chapters to be on the safe-side)
1. SoundWave and Kareoke

**Hey guys! It's Sarah. whoo!!! Alright, the season finale has been killing me! Since the wait is brutal, I figured I'd help ease the pain with what I think should happen. Eh, it probably won't, but this is where the unrealistic dreams come true! Hooray! This story will be Lily's POV...i think. If I change it, I'll let ya know.**

**Disclaimer-I don't own rfr. Why would I be here if I did? I don't own "Pancake Bay Weather Station" by PaperMoon either. It is really good though...**

_Chapter uno- SoundWave and Kareoke_

After two hours of mindless talking and answering questions, I finally left SoundWave. I just needed to go somewhere where I could be alone. Yeah, alone. It seemed nearly impossible to find such a place. I knew my parents would want to know everything when I got home. As fun as that sounds, I think I'll pass on being harassed by them. Mickey's would be filled with people coming back from SoundWave. Not my cup of tea, thanks. The station. The guys shouldn't be there due to their girlfriends. I can finally be alone, but is that what I really want?

On my way over, I couldn't help but smile when I thought about the station. Even the smell of it is both recognizable and relaxing. It's a mixture of an old basement and the guys' colognes'. For some reason, I couldn't wait to take a deep breath of that scent so I could finally relax again. I couldn't help but laugh when I opened the door, though.

Robbie had his head resting on his folded arms on the table. Travis was sprawled out on the couch with his hands folded behind his head. Ray had his feet up on the table while he flipped through a new wrestling magazine. This is what I really wanted right now. Not to be alone, but to just hang out with my guys.

"What are you in for, Randall?"

"I just needed a change of scenery and my Paper Moon cd."

Travis got up to look for the cd on the rack while I placed my guitar case on the ground and sat in my usual seat.

"What number, my dear?" he asked as he went into the booth and popped the cd in.

"Six please." I said with a grateful smile.

"Six it is." He turned the volume up as I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. _This is the life _I thought. _I never want this to end._ My head snapped up as I realized something very obvious.

"Wait, why are you guys here?"

"Sure, now she asks." Ray said, somewhat laughing. "Well Ms. Randall, Grace has a curfew and I have a nosey brother."

"Very true about the brother. Mr. McGrath, what about you?"

"My _cousin _left me for River Pierce." Cousin, right. Poor Robbie. I'll have to talk to him later about that.

"Fess up, Strong."

"Bridget's gone. I told her I loved her and she said I took too long."

"I'm sorry guys." I felt bad for them, I honestly did. Each of our nights got ruined one way or another. I can be unhappy, but not them. I can see in each of their eyes the unhappiness that overwhelmed them. I did the only think I could think of to break the growing silence. I sang along to number six, "Pancake Bay Weather Station" by Paper Moon…VERY overly enthusiastically.

"_What makes me think that if I try once more, I'll see something new? But there amongst the blurry highway curiosities, badly framed landscapes and poorly lit faces is a startling revelation I hadn't expected to find. _Take it, McGrath!"

With a singing/spoken tone, he began. "This is me looking over my shoulder." Then stuck his tongue out at me. How mature. Then I sang again.

"_This is me watching something that's just out of view. _Ray!"

Rang sang way off key and with too much enthusiasm. Gotta love him. "_This is me pretending I had what I wanted!! _Woo!!" I just shook my head and looked over at Travis. Surprisingly, he sang with me.

"_And this one's you._" After that, we all started cracking up. We were making complete asses out of ourselves and none of us seemed to care. The silence and hurt that once filled the room vanished. Now, it was just four friends hanging out.

**Awe, I thought it was cute! Then again, I am writing it.  
****English- Review please!!!  
****Spanish- Revise por favor!!!  
French- Reexaminer s'il vous plait!!!  
German- Uberprufen Sie bitte!!!  
Italian- riesaminare per favore!!!  
(you can get anything online these days...)**

**-SaRaH-**


	2. New Shirt, Yet I Feel Like Durt

**Alright, for those of you who are thinking, "Why were Ray and Lily fine with each other at the station?", just assume that he didn't hear her. Besides, Lily wasn't in the mood by then to make a big deal out of it. This chapter is going to be a little more intense for those of you who felt that the last chapter was too mellow and happy. This will sure chnage your mind...**

**Disclaimer- I still don't own rfr. I probably won't by the next chapter either. **

_Chapter Dos- New Shirt, Yet I Feel Like Durt _

For some reason, I wasn't afraid to go to school the next day. I knew that a ton of people heard my little confession on stage last night at SoundWave, yet I felt better knowing that things shouldn't be awkward with Ray after going to the station last night. I put my new shirt on, the one that showed extra cleavage (wink) and my favorite pair of low rise jeans and headed to school. I knew that today would be good as I walked up the steps to the front doors. Then, the unthinkable happened.

"Lily! You did great last night." I turned around and almost choked from gasping so hard. It was Audrey and her two new friends; her two bitchy, new friends.

"Umm, thanks Audrey."

"Oh, but that little thing at the end, I suggest talking in person instead of shouting out that you love someone in front of hundreds of people. It tends to be a bit embarrassing for both you and Ray; especially with his girlfriend standing right next to him." Then, with a roll of the eyes and a shake of the head, she turned around and walked away. What a bitch! So much for my good day.

"Kill me." I said with my teeth clenched.

"Now why would anyone want to do that?" a voice behind me said. It scared the shit out of me by the way. I tried to pretend that he didn't startle me, but he knew that he did.

"Sorry Lily. Why are you so jumpy anyway?" We headed toward my locker so I could get my books for first period.

"Well, if your ex wasn't such a bitch, maybe I wouldn't be." I said with a sarcastic tone and smile. Travis couldn't help but laugh at this. It even had me laughing a little. "Sorry, I guess I just wasn't expecting that as my greeting to school today." Travis leaned up against the locker next to mine and just stared directly ahead of him. Then, this came out of no where:

"Do you ever wonder what might have happened if Bridget never came here?" I stopped messing around in my locker and just looked at him with a questioning stare.

"What do you mean?" By now, I could tell he'd been holding this in for awhile and that it made him uncomfortable to even be bringing it up now.

"You know. Before she came, you were all that I could think about. Even when she was here, I still thought about you a lot. More than I probably should have been." I had to cut him off. I was all that he could think about?

"Wait, I thought you said kissing me was a mistake. That's what you told me." He could sense the bitterness in my voice.

"I know. I know. After that though, I talked to Robbie and he said the same thing. It was then that I realized that I had lied to you. It wasn't a mistake Lily. I'd do it over again in a heartbeat, but I know you don't feel the same way anymore. I heard you last night when you got done singing. I heard what you yelled out to Ray."

"You expect me to just go back to you after all you put me through? You hurt me Travis. I told you what I wanted. I was nothing but honest to you. I thought I could trust you after all we've been through as friends. I guess not. No wonder Bridget broke up with you! Once someone shows interest in you, you freak out and run away from them! You did it to her, me, and Audrey!" By this time, I was yelling at him. Also, by this time, the entire school was staring at us. Well, at me. Me, who was yelling at my best friend; my best friend who just got hurt the same way I had. He didn't deserve this. I was just aggravated at myself for letting my guard down and allowing myself to get hurt again.

"You know what Lily, I was wrong about you. You're a shitty person and a shitty friend. Fuck you!" With that, he turned around and left. Now, I still had the entire school watching, only this time, not only did I look like an ass, I felt like one too. How could I have done that to someone who means so much to me? I was going off the deep-end and fast. I did the only thing I could think of, even if itwas cliché. I slammed my locker and ran to the nearest girls' bathroom. Once I got in there, my eyes started watering. I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and called my mom. If anyone could fix this mess I was in, it was her.

**MOM TO THE RESCUE! lmao. give it up for mom! Alright, Travis and Lily would probably never do or say any of that, but it makes it all the more interesting, don't you think? Reviews please!!**

**-SaRaH-**


	3. Author's Note

**Alright, alright. I've read the reviews and the general feeling of chapter 2 was that it was too out of character for Lily and Travis. I know it was out of the usual for them and I thought it could work. I guess not. My deepest apologies. I appreciate the fact that you guys put it in a nice way, but still got the point across. From now on, I won't write chapters like that for this story. It just didn't work with the first chapter I guess. I'm in the process of writing the next chapter and I swear it'll be more like the first one. I'll make it work, I promise. **

**Thank you for the reviews and the honesty and the next chapter will be up soon, I promise!**

**-SaRaH-**


	4. Milkshakes and Mom

**Thanx for all the reviews! You guys are awesome!!:**

**Dubleohsev-**I know it wasn't like Travis. Ya know what I did get out of this though? I finally figured out what OOC stood for...lol  
**Morethanslightlyrfrobsessed**-I'm sorry it wasn't your favorite chapter. Hopefully this one will be better.  
**hardylover7477-**You're right, sometimes you need to be out of character  
**NotAContrivance-**PaperMoon is awesome, I'm glad you enjoyed it too. Thank god someone understood why she freaked out!  
**Elsewhere405-**I can't say what the pairing is! Where's the suspense in that?  
**babiijorx0**- I will...lol  
**Meteora Theory-** Personally, I don't like Bridget or Audrey either. I would pay good money to see "Travis" say that to "Lily" too.

_Chapter 3- Milkshakes and Mom_

**Disclaimer- I don't own rfr. I do have a mom though...**

Ten minutes into second period, a loud beep entered the quiet French class.

"Excuse me; do you have a Lillian Randall in class?" a very old woman said over the intercom.

"Oui oui, madam." I always hated when the foreign language teachers answered in the language that they taught. Now you know most of the people on the other end have no idea what you're saying or don't want to take the time to figure it out.

"Um, please send her down to the attendance office for an early dismissal."

"Absolument. Merci! Lys, les devoirs sont des pages dix-sept dans votre manuel."

"Merci madam." I put on a fake smile to go along with my fake French accent as I picked my bag up off the floor and quickly left the room. I stopped at my locker before heading to the office to get my sweatshirt. I couldn't wait to get out of there. As I shut my locker, I felt my pocket vibrate. I took my cell phone out and read the message.

"I'm so sorry, Lily. I think we're both just burnt out from everything that happened. We should talk later at Mickey's after "work" – Travis"

I rubbed my forehead as I stared at the text message. God, I'm an idiot. I closed my phone and stuck it back in my pocket. Don't want to get caught with that out in school. I sighed in relief as I walked down towards the attendance office and saw my mom standing by the front doors.

"Hey" I said as I walked up to her. She opened the front door for me and as I stepped outside, I felt free from the jail that people like to call school. It was absolute hell.

"How about a milkshake and curly fries? That always cheers my Lillian up." Usually, when my mom uses my full name, it's really annoying. Somehow, it felt comforting and familiar. I knew I was safe now.

After about 5 minutes of silence at the table in Bill's Grill, she finally asked the question that's been killing her since I called her first period this morning.

"I didn't pull you out of school for nothing, Lillian. Talk to me. What's going on?" I knew I had to spill now. It's not that I didn't want to tell her, because I knew I would feel so much better afterwards, but for some reason I couldn't tell her.

"I don't know. It's…it's everything." I stirred the milkshake with my straw as my mom did that slouch down thing to see my face. Once I saw her, I knew I needed to just get it over with. With a heavy sigh, I started.

"Alright, I like Ray and he liked me too; "liked" as in past tense. Now, he's going out with this girl Grace who I set him up with last minute for our blind date that I thought we were really using as a decoy for a real date so I picked her and they actually hit it off and my date thought that Ray and I had something going on so he left. Then at the concert, I screamed out from on stage that I loved Ray with Grace standing right next to him, but I don't think they heard me and now today Travis is trying to tell me that he's had this crush on me since we kissed like three months ago even while he was going out with Bridget who broke up with him last night and went back to Hong Kong. Travis and I had a fight in the hall this morning before I called you and we both said some pretty bad things and he just sent me a text saying that we need to talk." My poor mother just looked at me with her mouth open. I think I was talking at like 90 words a second.

"So Ray is broke up with Bridget who lives in Hong Kong?" I appreciate her attempt at keeping track. I tried explaining it a lot slower this time.

"No ma, Travis broke up with Bridget from Hong Kong. I kissed him a couple of months ago. Ray, who has liked me since the beginning of school is going out with Grace. She's the one I set up on the blind date."

"Okay, I think I get it now. One question though, is Ray worth all of this aggravation? I know he's your best friend and always will be, but are you sure this is what you want? Especially if he has a girlfriend now?" Moms are so smart. How did she know the exact thing to say?

"I guess not. I should've done something before, but you're right, it's too late now." I grabbed a curly fry from the basket in front of me. Even though I felt better talking to my mom and getting her advice, I was still upset. It wasn't what I wanted to hear and she knew that. That's why she looked so upset. Because I was upset.

"Ready to go back to school? I have to be back at work by eleven for a meeting." I nodded. I didn't want to leave. I felt safe with here with her. I didn't at school. I gave my mom money for the food and she pushed it away. "It's on me, sweetie." She picked up her purse and jacket from the booth and walked toward the doors. I was amazed by her. She always knew what to say and what to do. There is no way I could ever be as good of a mother as she was to me. I picked up my coat and put in on before following her out of the door to the car.

**Awe, everyone go hug your mom's now!! lol...review please!! **

**-SaRaH-**


	5. Top the Day with Hemingway

**Hey guys! I finally finished chapter 4, aren't you proud? i know i am! lol**

**Reviewchick14-** Hasn't been _so bad_? Ooo, that's rough. lmao  
**Meteora Theory-** Once you go to your mom's house, be sure to hug her. You can hug her for me too...

**Disclaimer- I don't own rfr. I never will either. **

_Chapter cuatro- Top the Day with Hemingway_

I arrived back at school towards the end of fourth period. Just enough time to get my books out of my locker and go upstairs before anyone got out of class. I was the first in my English literature class, so I opened my notebook to a clean page and started doodling.

"Is that a self-portrait?" I looked up and saw Travis peeking at the stick figure I was drawing. He sat down next to me and pulled a binder out of his bag.

"Yeah, I think I have lighter hair though." We both laughed as I shut my notebook. Immediately after, I saw his hand tense up on his desk as he shifted in his seat. I needed to help him along. "Do we have to wait until Mickey's to talk?"

"Of course not, I just don't know where to begin."

"Alright, I'll start. I am so sorry. You don't know how horrible I feel for freaking out on you."

"It's not your fault. I never should have brought that up." I shook my head and smiled.

"Travis, you're amazing. You're always worried about everyone else's feeling and never your own. It was only fair for you to tell me. Besides…"

"Hey everyone, sorry I'm late. Settle down, we have a lot of work to do today." I never did get the chance to finish that sentence. I'm kind of glad I didn't though, because honestly, I had no idea what to say after that. If I said that I liked him too, who knows what could happen. I didn't even know if I still did or if I was just feeling rejected anyway. But, if I told him that we wouldn't work, I could possibly crush my already crushed friend, and no one wants to do that. So, for the rest of the period, we did independent, silent reading. That was probably best, anyway.

Finally, after a couple short stories by Hemingway, the bell rang. I placed my books in my bag and waited for Travis to do the same like we did everyday. As we walked out the door into the crowded hallway, we started talking again.

"So, did you read that one called The End of Something? That one was really good. It was an interesting breakup, but frighteningly realistic." I knew exactly what he meant by that. In this story, a boyfriend and girlfriend break up because he is "bored with love". He finally admits this after being silent and not eating during their picnic.

"I know what you mean. People could be together forever and just one day get bored with the same old thing, you know? But he did seem to feel pretty guilty when he was talking to his friend, almost like he regretted the whole thing."

"That's what love is. You can be absolutely in sync with each other and can't stand to be away from them, and then one day, all those little things that bother you about them just come out in one big explosion. Then later, you regret it. That's when it's up to you how you want to fix it." We both kind of stopped in our tracks at his comment and looked at each other.

"Lily! They have butterscotch pudding!" I quickly turned my head to Ray, who was holding up a dish of butterscotch pudding above his head. I couldn't help but smirk at this. I didn't care that he was embarrassing the hell out of me in front of the entire cafeteria. Surprisingly, I also didn't care that Grace was clung to his free arm. This was the first time in a couple months that I didn't see his as my one and only true love. I also didn't want to pop Grace's head off like a Barbie doll either. I was alright with it.

"Some things will never change, huh Lily?"

"Nope, but maybe that's a good thing, Travis."

**Yay! All is swell in Roscoe...for now...(muah ha ha)**

**-SaRaH-**


	6. Lectures and Pictures

**Meteora Theory-** I'll be sure to sedn you some butterscotch pudding of your own...  
**RFRMAKESMEHOT-** umm...I don't know if that was a bash at my story or at yourself, but thanx either way!  
**bandgeek4ever-**alrite, more is here.  
**doubleohsev-**I'm glad you don't think my fic's are fake. Fake fic's are good, yours for example, but everyone now and then you need some reality I guess. Thanx!

**Alrite, I haven't posted in forever and a day, my apologies. In return, I'm giving you the longest chapter I've ever written...at least I think so. Hope ya like it!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own rfr...but how cool would that be if I did?!**

_Chapter cinco- Lectures and Pictures_

"_Nope, but maybe that's a good thing, Travis."_

It was then that I realized what has been in front of me the whole time. I looked at Ray, so happy messing around with Grace. Why did I want to ruin that? From the time we were five we said that we wanted each other to always be happy, no matter what. What ever happened to that?

"Are you alright with this?" Travis nudged me as he looked at me questioningly.

"Yeah, come on." He kind of gave me a look of disbelief as he followed me to the table. To show everyone who was staring at me that I didn't mind Ray and Grace being together, I sat next to her. I think I even heard people gasp. After a minute or two of staring, everyone got the clue that I was officially over Ray. I know, I didn't even believe it.

"Hey Lily, are you coming to Mickey's today after our _study group_?"

"Sure Ray. Just remind me to call my mom later."

The bell rang shortly after and we all got up to go to our next classes. To be honest, I was happy to be out of there. Just because I decided about fifteen minutes ago that I don't like him anymore, doesn't mean that it wasn't awkward. I tried to stay as sane as possible as Ray and Grace flirted uncontrollably next to me. Travis walked up next to me as I tried to get to my next class as quickly as possible.

"Making a quick exit?"

"Hey, I tried. I just want to go to class and pretend that everything's fine."

"What was with the act in there if you still like him?" We both stopped right in front of our physics room. "Talk to me Lily."

"I don't like him. Not anymore. I know I'm not supposed to so I won't."

"Lil, you can't just get over someone that quickly. It takes time. Everyone knows that and we all understand. Putting yourself through this isn't going to solve anything."

"I don't know what else to do Travis! They're always there, right in front of me!"

Yeah, I was yelling at him again. At least this time there wasn't a crowd of people watching. The bell rang as our physics teacher stared at us standing outside the door. I followed Travis in the door and sat in my usual seat by the window and daydreamed the entire period. Maybe Travis was right, he usually is. I mean, what was I supposed to do, get over him like that? Yeah, right. Maybe I could use him as my mentor. I'm sure he would be up to it now that Bridget is gone.

After class, I hurried up to him as he was leaving. I needed to tell him now. This was perfect!

"Travis, I got it! Will you be my mentor? You're always giving me and everyone else advice. You could help me get over Ray since I obviously have no idea how to. Please?"

"A mentor? I guess it could work. Ditch Mickey's with me and we'll start after the show, sound good?"

"Perfect. Thanks Travis!" I gave him a great big hug before running to phys ed. I was so happy; I knew that if anyone could help me, it would be him. I couldn't wait until after the show to start.

"I'm Question Mark and I'm wondering how do you get over someone? Even after everything you've been through and what you thought was perfect, it just collapses right in front of you and you can't do anything to stop it. Then, before you know it, they're gone with someone else."

"Well, I think that the worst thing you can do is to shut yourself out completely from that person. It's easier to go from dating to friends than dating to enemies." I guess the lesson started.

"Yeah Smog, but sometimes it's hard to talk to them as if nothing's wrong, especially with their new girlfriend standing right next to them. Or boyfriend in your case…" Good save, Randall. Way to make it ridiculously obvious who you were talking about. The show was over before I knew it and Robbie and Ray were leaving for Mickey's.

"You guys coming?"

"Nah, sorry. We have a huge physics test tomorrow and Lily's not quite ready for it. Sorry."

"Alright. Have fun studying. Who studies anymore?"

"Shut up Ray and let's go."

Once the door was shut, Travis came out of the tech booth and came over to the couch. I wheeled myself closer on my rollie chair so that I was sitting in front of him.

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close your eyes. Trust me, just do it."

I closed my eyes and he began talking. His voice had a soothing, relaxing tone to it that just hit the spot. I could feel myself become less tense within a few seconds.

"Okay. Picture yourself ten years from now. You're doing what you love to do. You have the perfect job. You get home from a long day at work and you walk into your bedroom to get changed to go out. Next to your bed you see a picture of you and your soul mate. You couldn't be happier and you smile as you look at it."

Once he said this, I smiled. I could actually see my apartment. I could see my bedroom. I could see the picture. Then, I got chills and opened my eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just got a chill, that's all."

"You saw the picture, didn't you?"

"Yeah, so?" I started rubbing my arms and looking around the room to avoid eye contact with him. It was too late; he knew why I was acting weird. He put his hands on either side of my face and brought my stare back to him.

"Who was it? You can tell me, don't worry." I started breathing heavier and I felt like I was going to pass out. This was freaky shit! How could I tell him that he was in the picture with me?

"I don't know who it was; I've never met him before." I stood up and brought the chair back over to the table. He wasn't giving up that easily so he followed me over to the table.

"Was it Ray?"

"No."

"River?"

"No!"

"Who then?"

"It was you alright!? You were in the picture with me. You were the one I was in love with. You were the one I was going out with. God Travis, why is this happening? You're not supposed to be with me. I'm not supposed to be with you. We just don't work."

I looked down at my strappy sandals that I bought last week. Anything that I could look at that weren't his eyes was fine with me. Those eyes were evil. They made girls melt every time they looked into them.

"How do you know? You know, timing is a funny thing. We take it for granted and then blame it when things go wrong. Maybe all of this happened for a reason." With that, he grabbed his bag and left. He left me standing there staring at my favorite sandals; the ones that were the exact color of his eyes. Maybe I tried so hard to avoid his eyes that everything I did reminded me of them. I did the only thing I could think of. I screamed at the top of my lungs.

**AHHHH!! I feel better now. A good scream every now and then is just what I need. lol Review please!!!**

**-SaRaH-**


	7. A Little Off Topic

**singergirl22- i'll keep up the kick ass work just for you...lol i think travis should be with me too  
suzzy20-who is? i never said what the pairing was...  
crizzy4RFR-cold medicine will do that to ya...feel better!  
doubleohsev-yeah, lots of peopl try to get over someone too fast and it doesn't work. I never said it was a trily tho...**

**Disclaimer- I still don;t own rfr. If you didn't get that by now, you should seek professional help.**

_Chapter 6- A Little Off Topic_

I got home at 5:20, right on time. I yelled that I was home as I opened the door to my house. I got no response. That's unusual. Maybe my mom went to the store. I took my shoes off and ran upstairs. Once I got to my room, I took a deep breath, threw my shoes and bag in my chair, and flopped onto my bed. Ahh, I loved this bed. I turned my head and looked at my phone. Why was it blinking? I leaned over to grab it and scrolled through the caller ID.

"What the hell?" I said out-loud to myself. It was a lawyer's number. Why would a lawyer be calling here? Did my dad get another speeding ticket?

"Lillian, I'm home!" I heard my mom yelling from downstairs and I almost dropped my phone. I didn't even hear the door open. I got up and ran downstairs to see my mother all done up. My mom never wears make-up. Now I was getting suspicious. Not to mention the stack of papers in her hand that she tried to hide.

"Mom, some lawyer called before I got home; what happened?" I saw panic in my mom's eyes. Okay, official panic mode set in. What was going on?!

"Oh, that's nothing. I just needed some legal advice on something, it's no big deal." No big deal? Why was she all tense then?

"Alright. Hey, what are we having for dinner 'cause I could so go for a burger right now."

"What? Oh, yeah. Burgers are fine." By now, she was sorting through more papers that were piled up on the counter, getting even more tense and preoccupied.

"Do you need me to help you with something? What time is dad coming home because I can start dinner if you want?" This made her stop. What did I say?

"He's not coming home Lillian, alright?" She placed both hands on the counter and shook her head. Tears started forming in her eyes.

"What? Mom, what happened?" After I said this, she began to cry. Was he okay? Where was he? My heart rate started to rise. She tried to talk through her increasing sobs.

"He's gone baby. You're dad left. He's not coming back." My eyes starting burning as tears gathered in their corners. Was she serious? But...

"Why? Why…why would you say something like that?" I started yelling through the tears. Nothing else seemed to work. It felt like my heart had just been ripped out and everyone just laughed as they watched me suffer.

"Your father had an affair. It was some young, hot blonde with big boobs and a low IQ. Supposedly, he's been seeing her for months now. I'm so sorry sweetie. I just can't do this!"

I appreciated her attempt at staying calm and cool. Eventually the bitterness came through. I really don't blame her though. How could he do this to her? To me? To us!?

"I hate him, mom. I hate him." I hugged my mom and we both started sobbing ridiculously. I felt like my entire life was crumbling down. I didn't care about Ray or Travis. This was so much more important.

Needless to say, the next day at school was just a blur. I walked through the halls with a blank stare and puffy red eyes. How attractive. I heard Travis calling my name down the hallway as I was at my locker.

"Lily! I have the…what's wrong?" It's interesting how someone can sound so happy at the beginning of a sentence and so devastated by the end. He was a prime example of this.

"I don't want to talk about it, it's stupid. Is that the physics homework? I'm sorry I'm copying yours, but I really didn't have time to do it last night."

"Stop trying to change the subject and I don't care if you want to talk about it or not. We're always honest to each other, even if it is brutal…and in front of the entire school." He was good. He knew how to make me smile.

"My dad had an affair. This usually happens to people when their kids are younger than me. I'm too old for this. Whatever, it's no big deal, I guess." I don't know why I was playing the tough girl role. That so wasn't me. I knew he wouldn't believe it anyway, so why did I even try.

"Lil, that is a big deal! You have every right to be upset; you don't just have to be a little kid to feel that way. Does anyone else know?" I shook my head. I sniffled a little bit as tears began to collect in my eyes again. I hated talking about it, it just made me remember how upset and angry I am.

"I feel privileged to be the first to know. Maybe you should go home. I'll get your work for you and bring it over later." Travis is such a sweetie. I remember what attracted me to him now.

"Nah, my mom isn't home anyway. She's at work and then has an appointment with her lawyer. God only knows where my dad is. I don't know why my mom automatically wants a divorce though. No one on tv ever gets a divorce after their spouse has an affair."

"I hate to break it to you, but television isn't real. They're made-up stories by people that wear weird clothes, like pink ties." (lmao, luv ya Brent!)

"The bell's going to ring soon. We should go to lit." I closed my locker and moseyed to the classroom next to one of the few people that actually get me. Thank god for diplomats.

**Lots of snow reviews more chapters!!!**

**-SaRah-**


	8. All I Really Want

**Meteora Theory-**Sorry about the parents. And yes, it is okay to feel sorry for Lily. I know, it's a first.  
**bandgeek4ever-**thanx!  
**Bridget-**i never siad it was trily, but thanx for sticking it out.  
**doubleohsev-**ooo, that must have been one interesting night...eh, brent loves us anyway so it's alrite.

**A/N- Sorry I haven't updated this recently, but I had midterms and then work and little sleep. Not a good combo. Hope you like this!**

_Chapter 7- All I Really Want_

Lunch that day wasn't much better. I basically just sat there and stared at my Snapple while Ray and Grace debated the meaning of the word "ambidextrous". Robbie was off somewhere and Travis just shook his head at Ray's stupidity in between staring at me off and on. I felt like throwing up. Ray and Grace didn't even really bother me today. While I should be happy about this, but I just keep thinking of my dad. I thought everything was fine. God was I wrong.

"Lily, will you please tell them that it means you can skate backwards." Ray's comment took me out of my trance of staring at my binder.

"It means you can write and do things with both hands, Ray." I picked up my binder and left the cafeteria. I really just wasn't in the mood to listen to their stupid conversations. I thought my quick exit was successful until I heard someone calling my name from behind me. What now? I turned around to see Travis walking over to me.

"What Travis? I'm really not in the mood, alright?" God was I being a bitch. Oh well. I began walking toward my locker again, but he wasn't going to give up.

"Are you going to be okay? Maybe we should talk before the show. Do you have to stay after for anything?" I just shook my head as I held my books close to my chest. I guess I felt like they were the only protection I had right now.

"Meet me at the station right after school, okay?" I nodded. He turned around and walked back into the cafeteria. My heart sunk as he walked away. I needed him. I wanted him. I wanted to hold onto him and never let him go. Wow, this is scary. I can't like Travis again. Wait, did I ever stop? This was all too confusing for me. Thankfully, the bell rang. At least now I can just pay attention in class, that way I don't have to think about anything.

_Just stare at the board, Lily. It doesn't matter that you have no idea what the teacher's saying. Just stare at the board and it'll all go away. _So much for that idea. I didn't care about the potential energy of object A. I tapped my pen on my notebook for about a minute until everyone started staring at me. Bad idea. Then, I started writing down the lyrics to this song I had stuck in my head. Just guess what song it was…

_Don't tell me what to do _

_Don't tell me who to love_

_Don't tell me where to go _

_It's only you I'm thinking of_

_Don't give me all your lies_

_Don't give me all your doubt_

_Don't give me indecision _

'_Cause it's you I'm all about…_

Could I be anymore pathetic? Nope, I don't think it's possible. Maybe this talk with Travis will be good for me. Maybe then I can stop obsessing over him. No, I'm not obsessing. I don't obsess. Not over guys. Who am I kidding; I am obsessing.

The walk to the station went by really quick today. I basically power-walked the entire way though. By the time I reached the station, I was out of breath. Why did I do that? I walked down the stairs and opened the door to the familiar hangout. I saw Travis sitting at the table as I walked in the door and I threw my bag to the floor and flopped on the couch, trying to regain some desperately needed oxygen. He just shook his head as he looked back down at his homework that was sitting on the table in front of him.

"Wha…What's that…for?" I managed to form a sentence in between the heavy breaths I was taking. He laughed as he brought the notebook over to me. He sat down next to me and placed the notebook on his lap.

"History essay on my opinion of war." I looked down at the well-written essay in his lap.

"Which is?"

"I'm a pacifist. War doesn't solve anything."

"Yeah, but it helps you get what you want."

"So does trust. And it doesn't kill soldiers and innocent civilians by doing so either."

"Point taken. So why did you want me to come here so early? Another gaze into my future?"

"Not this time, Lily. I just want to talk." He got up and placed the notebook back on the table and sat back down in his chair. "Talk to me Lily. What else is going on besides the divorce?" God, was I really that easy to read? How did he know something else was bothering me? Why couldn't he be a regular guy and not notice anything? That's what draws me to him though. He isn't a regular guy. He actually cares about me.

"I haven't really gotten over that whole picture thing from the other day I guess. I just don't get what it all means."

"Sure you do. You just don't know why and that's what's bothering you. You know that it's not what you're supposed to feel and see, but it is and that drives you crazy. Then, you obsess over it and can't get it out of your head. Am I right so far?" I just looked at him as he smirked back at me. "The question is how do you feel? What do you want Lily?"

"I don't know. I guess I just want everything back to the way it was at the beginning of the year. I don't know, you and I were really close and I liked that. We were friends and that's it. No one was dating anyone. It was calm." I hung my head down and stared at the floor. I didn't know what his response was, but I knew it wouldn't be what I wanted to hear.

"Alright Lily. We're just friends, that's all. I guess you were right." I could feel tears coming, but I held them back. I didn't want him to see how I really felt. Soon after, Robbie and Ray came in the door and it was time to do the show.

**Suspense makes me happy! Yay! I'll update a lot sooner this time, I promise!**

**-SaRaH-**


	9. Secrets Come Clean Eventually

**bandgeek4ever-**i'm glad you enjoy it. i wrote another chapter just for you!  
**doubleohsev-**i figured you weren't expecting it. i like to keep you guys on your toes

Disclaimer- I don't own rfr. I don't own the song by Genesis "After the Ordeal" or "Finally Woken" by Jem. Don't ask, I probably don't own that either.

_Chapter 8- Secrets Come Clean Eventually_

**"**_**Alright Lily. We're just friends, that's all. I guess you were right." I could feel tears coming, but I held them back. I didn't want him to see how I really felt. Soon after, Robbie and Ray came in the door and it was time to do the show.** _

"I'm question mark and I'm wondering, what's up with the lunch descriptions? I mean, the way that the food is described, it sounds half-way decent. Then, you go to buy and eat it and it looks like a can of dog chow. It's so misleading."

"So are people sometimes." My heart stopped. I stared down at my mic after I heard Travis say that. Ray looked at Travis and I with his usual confused face.

"Right. So here's Jem with 'Finally Woken'." Robbie cued Travis to turn the mics off and he pulled his headphones down around his neck. Here we go. "Dare I ask what's going on?"

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

"Alright Lil..."

"I'm outta here. Later guys." I picked up my bag and left. Why was Travis doing this to me? He's not usually like this. I passed by Mickey's on the way home and decided to stop in for a cookie dough milkshake. I needed one really bad. I walked in and grabbed a table. Mickey came over and took my order. While I was waiting, I decided to look around and see if anyone good was here. From my table, I saw Lee and Audrey sitting in a booth together. I guess he's the guy of the week. Then, I looked over at the couch and couldn't believe my eyes.

River…and Kim?

"Find something interesting?" I looked up and saw Mickey staring in the same direction I was, holding my milkshake.

"Wow, sorry." I grabbed the milkshake and took a huge sip through the bright green straw. "This is perfect Mickey, thanks."

"What's wrong Lily? You look upset."

"Alright, I told Travis that I just wanted to be friends even though we both like each other and now he's mad at me."

"Is that why he saidthat peopleare misleading toobefore?"

"Yeah, what's with that?" Then it hit me. Smog said that, not Travis. Holy. Shit. I just revealed who RFR was. I looked at Mickey with pure panic in my eyes.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Mickey, you can't tell anyone. Promise me you won't tell anyone. I'll be in so much trouble. Waller will kill us. The guys will kill me…"Mickey began laughing. I'm assuming because I was talking about a mile a minute.

"If I haven't told yet, what makes you think I will now?" My jaw dropped. _Haven't told yet?_

"How long have you known?"

"Let's just say a while. It is my warehouse after all. And my warehouse party. And my radio clip of danger man that I gave to Robbie. How would I not know? And, there's only one other girl that I know that can tear up a guitar like you; Shady Lane." I just sat there. Stunned. If Mickey knew, how many other people knew? I panicked and started looking around Mickey's. For what, I have no clue. Maybe for people staring at Roscoe's own celebrity: Shady Lane, right before their very eyes. Obviously no one was staring. "Calm down kid. Maybe you should go home and lie down for a while. Clear your head, ya know?"

"Ye..yeah. Yeah, I'll go do that. Thanks Mickey." By now, I was shaking from being so scared. I can't let the guys know about this. Mickey can't tell anyone either. We'll be so dead if this slips out.

**I always thought Mickey knew...  
-SaRaH-**


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